


At river's end

by psycheee



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-25
Updated: 2014-09-25
Packaged: 2018-02-18 18:16:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2357528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psycheee/pseuds/psycheee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren smiles as Levi fades and appears in the background.</p>
            </blockquote>





	At river's end

 

It was fall.

The wintry wind superseded the warmness of summer as remnants of the past season slowly disintegrated in the background. Pretty desiccated leaves sorrowfully withered away from where they belonged, surrendering down where they seek comfort only to be stepped upon mindlessly by the surging crowd. No one would stop to take notice. No one would give a single care. The pace will not be interrupted by small insignificant things. It is either you go along the flow and lose yourself in the unforgivable current or you choose to remain still and be stomped upon. Like a resisting stone in a cascading falls, a little goo will refuse to follow the course of stream in the midst of a great storm only to find itself being carried away harshly and not before long devoured deep into the abyss of the unknown. Hopeless promises of ever emerging again. Hopeless promises of seeing the light.

Blinking once, twice, I made sure the blur had gone away. I walked in the corridor along people with their own little worlds. Some talked so loudly with their friends like they were protesting against a very prominent issue. Alas, I had to make abrupt turns here and there as some people thought stopping randomly in the middle of a raging crowd was a good idea. It’s always been like this. I don’t like it, I really don’t. I like to keep it silent, to feel the solemnity the wind brings. Its gentle caresses as it whisper sweet nothings,lulling you far far way. However this place offers me no such. These people will only do the favour of hearing themselves, refusing to fall on deaf ears. But Levi is different. He's silent, very silent. And I find solace in him. He doesn’t like crowded places too. He once referred to this place as a herd full of bothersome unneeded animals excluding me of course! I guess he resents this place too. Perhaps even more? But I really can’t tell. He becomes dull around people, always. His face will devoid of all emotion and I really can’t tell anymore. I asked him one misty morning in the rooftop away from these people and he told me he just likes to observe. But one time, one teeny tiny time which probably wouldn’t happen again. Though I really hope so. I caught him looking with something in his eyes. Something akin to distaste.  _Or was it disgust ahh pity? Mhm perhaps it was all._ His eyes were steady but the lack of dullness gave it away. And although it went as fast as it came, I caught something anyway. Hah!

_ 'What?' He deadpanned. _

_ 'Nothing.' I smiled _

A deafening ringing suddenly stabbed my ears, piercing through my whole body. My little reverie faded as reality returned. _Oh I'm running late too. Tch._ Turning around, I smiled my brightest smile to Levi to bid him good bye and a 'see you later!!'

But he was gone.

Levi liked it that way I guess, appearing and fading in the background that is.He's like a mystery. Perhaps a riddle you have to solve but I’ve long given up on that. I like surprises so I let his very existence surprise me in every way possible. Just like that day I met him. In fact, I don’t even remember it. It was like he just popped out of nowhere, an instant friend that came in my life. I know. I know I knew it before, but the memory just faded, gone. Little fragments of memoir were easily carried off like dandelion off its stem.

And I was too late to snatch them back.

Levi isn’t in my class, he isn’t in any class. But sometimes he walks me to school or back home. Either way, we always take the long route just so we could hang out more. We walk by the river as it glows against the sun light, welcoming the dusk. My eyes would always glint everytime we go here, well at least that’s what Levi said. He would smile at me, although his face didn’t change much; I know he was being sincere. Sometimes when Levi doesn’t show up, I walk and walk until I reach the end. Levi doesn’t allow me to go there so I can only go when he’s away; perhaps he’s heard it too. There is a legend surrounding this place that elders tend to preach with hush tones; in a clandestine manner as if someone is guarding their very words. 

_Once upon a time, a child with innocent soul was to be sacrificed by the river to pay tribute to the river monster. This was the unwritten agreement of the two different entities living in that town in order to retain peace. Every year, one was taken as their mother cried out in sorrow. On the course of time then came a mother who refused so. Finding out about her child’s fate bearing the innocence she cried out, trashing things around the house, whispering no like a mantra. She refused so. And before dawn in the midst of Aurora’s eyes, she was out with her child by the mountain below. The wind cut through their skin and thunders came roaring down seething in anger; it was no doubt a storm was coming. A storm they have yet to see. A storm so powerful it would tear down everything along its way. But nothing came. The mother became relieved and looked to her child. But all she saw was the river beside her. And all that was heard not long,  was her excruciating cry resonating painfully in the soundless town. She couldn’t move as she helplessly watched before her eyes her child by the river. She watched as the motionless child sinked down. Until to the very end as no more of her child was seen, existence removed, erased. She writhed on the ground, clawing the earth as she cursed the heavens. Finally, she realized a pristine stone was within her hands bearing words._

_ ‘The curse of the river monster has been passed on to the most innocent soul in the River Valley’ _

Kids who I was with when we learnt of the legend were utterly terrified. They were shaking like cats thrown in the water. And I, well I didn’t really know what to feel. It was not scary per se, but it wasn't pleasant either. Should this be true then I pity the child. Having to suffer the most because of someone foolishly defying the course. Thinking she could secede away but alas, it was all in vain.  _Pitiful indeed._ Nevertheless, it left this place barren from people as such. My pretty pretty place.

The river is very pretty. Pretty as the shining star, pretty as the glimmering moon. And just like the darkness outside this beautiful rotting world, it is utterly terrifying. What’s under it? What’s hiding below it? What would its depth bring? I could hear its cry, calling out for me. Its whispers and songs lulling me into it. Will I survive should I surrender to its temptations? Will I be able to emerge back? Or will I continue to fall

drop

fade

disappear

but then a hand would always appear just when I'm about to drown, from the water. Perhaps from my thoughts. I can't tell anymore. Slowly I would reach for it. But I'd be too weak. I'd feel my chest tightening up, constricting my being. I can’t breath, I just can’t. But then a soft voice pulls me through.

_ ‘Wake up. Don’t die on me shitty brat' _

Everything felt so heavy. My lungs were feeeling crippled as if someone twisted it distortedly for their own amusement. My throat was on fire and i know I wouldn't be able to talk for sometime. But then I would feel soft hands gently soothing me. And all at once my discomforts, my sufferings, would fade away in the scenery. I would feel soft and sleepy, like a bittersweet euthanasia crawling its way on me.

But I’ve always resented the idea of being unaware of my surroundings. The wolves are always around waiting for you to turn your back. Should you give them the chance then you would soon find yourself devoured. Their fangs gnawing on your flesh as they tear bits and pieces of you. And the last thing within your sight would be their cheshire grins. 

Slowly I would open my eyes. _Ahh so it was Levi again._  His dark grey eyes which I’ve always thought resembled the immense night sky, were sadly lookind down at me. He shook his head painfully slow that one would argue he wasn’t doing anything. But I know better. He made sure I was aware that he wasn't amuse of my action. I just grinned at him. 

Time ticktocked and soon I’m home. I lost Levi along the way, probably off to wander. He told me though to head straight home. And I did. Truly i didn't have anything else to do. So I reunited with my beautiful friends, books. My childhood friend Armin used to read me one all the time. Listening to his stories is one of my favourites; with them I could imagine- _no see_ a perfect serene world. A world so real I could touch it. But even before I could do that I heard light tappings on my window. I've almost forgotten, I thought as I pull the bars holding the window lid then pushed it open. Straightaway a small stone greeted my face.

‘Sorry’ Levi mouthed. He’s looking pallid as ever.

Levi tended to speak in short and hush tone mimicking the cry of the wind. And it never failed to amuse me how I always understood what he said, or even the soundless ones in this case. His words always echoed in my direction only, as if they were only meant for me to hear. The wind becoming the enslaved messenger as it brought me unfailingly the very meaning of Levi's words. Of levi's voice. Embracing my every senses, even the unknown ones, perhaps. 

My room was located on the second floor of the house and Levi was literally across the street. But I know I would still understand him even if decided to make a speech then and there. Not that he would. Then I'd shake my head disapprovingly as slow as a turtle, imitating his recent action, but my not so obvious grin gave it away. I feigned irritation anyway.

“Yahh! That hur-“ I was cut off as the door of my room abruptly opened, taking me by surprise and had me turning around on reflex. _Ahh it’s time._ And sure enough Mother had come in.

“Who were you talking to?” She asked with pure sincerity as she set my medicine and glass of water on my table. I moved away from the window taking my medicine.

“No one” I lied.

Mother slowly closed into the window taking a glance. She turned to me and smiled. It was a sad smile, painful and sorrowful just like Levi's. She moved to my side and kissed me in the forehead. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it after much contemplation. Finally, she settled with a goodnight and sleep well. Mother was out in no time.

I'm not sure how long I had been standing there looking at nothing in particular. But when I walked back to my window 

the street was empty.

 

That's alright. Eren smiles. Tomorrow he'll visit again. 

fin

_  Schizophrenia   _

_ skɪtsə(ʊ)ˈfriːnɪə noun: schizophrenia _

_          : a long-term mental disorder of a type involving a breakdown in the relation between thought, emotion, and behaviour, leading to faulty perception, inappropriate actions and feelings, withdrawal from reality and personal relationships into fantasy and delusion, and a sense of mental fragmentation. _

_ : modern Latin from Greek skhizein ‘to split’ + phren ‘mind’. _

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for all the grammatical errors. Still improving my english mina-san. Constructive criticisms are very much welcome. ((:


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